Michelle LeSueur, DBe, CNC, CNS

Is your protein drink safe?

As a nutritionist, when counseling people, I am always shocked to see how little protein people have in their diet. As I always preach, it is always about balance.  Too much of anything is bad whether it be carbs, fat or protein.  I have found that the large majority of women especially, do not like meat.  So, to get them where they need to be, I usually recommend a protein drink.

Having formulated products, I have learned first hand the importance of choosing the best raw materials.  In the supplement industry you truly do get what you pay for.  If it is cheap, most likely these companies chose the cheapest, lowest ingredients to manufacture their product.  Another thing I have learned is the importance of testing your raw materials at an independent lab to make sure that you are getting a pure product.  Many companies do not do this.  Why is this a problem? Well, we are seeing that the larger majority of ingredients that come from China say one thing on their analysis, and when sent out to an independent lab you get a completely different analysis.  Many of the ingredients have contaminates such as heavy metals.

This has been evident in the recent consumer report done on 15 different protein drinks, from powders to ready to drink.  These protein powders were sent to an independent lab for testing, and here is what they found:

Among the Consumer Reports tested, was EAS Myoplex Original Rich Dark Chocolate Shake – with 16.9 micrograms of arsenic (limit of 15 micrograms a day says U.S. Pharmacopeia) and exposed users to elevated levels of heavy metals when they drink three servings a day.

Other brands tested include Energy First Pro Energy Whey Protein Isolate; BSN Lean Dessert Protein Shake; Muscle Milk among others.

The human body is made up of about 16 percent protein, which plays a major role in cell functioning. Many enzymes, hormones and our DNA are composed of protein.

Here are the average amounts of metals we found in three servings of these protein drinks. The maximum limits for them in dietary supplements proposed by the U.S. Pharmacopeia are: arsenic (inorganic), 15 micrograms (µg) per day; cadmium, 5 µg; lead, 10 µg; mercury, 15 µg. Amounts at or exceeding those limits are in bold. Experts said three servings a day are common.

Read more: http://news.injuryboard.com/consumer-reports-on-protein-powder-plus-metals-.aspx?googleid=281896#ixzz0uARUGMQq

http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/magazine-archive/2010/july/food/protein-drinks/whats-in-your-protein-drink/index.htm

Why are heavy metals a problem? Well, if you are someone that is trying to lose weight or body fat; any toxin will keep you from reducing and leaning out.  Let me explain.  With heavy metals, research shows that there is a higher incidents of Alzheimer and metals tend to go to the brain.  If you research the health issues associated with each of these metals, you will see where the problem is.  Most people that have high metals also have high yeast, which increases food craving for carbs and sugar.  I also see people that have skin issues when it comes to high metals in the body.

I am a firm believer in getting protein from whole foods when and wherever  possible.  It takes more calories to eat, chew and digest real food than a protein drink.  I prefer no more than 2 protein drinks a day and nothing more than 20-30 grams.  I do not allow any protein powders with artificial sweeteners. (Read my article on Sucralose) I also feel it is important to add fruit or eat some vegetables to protect the kidneys.  The kidneys are the only organ that does not regenerate so you want to take care of them.  We were meant to eat real food, but for those that have a hard time getting protein for whatever reason, this is a way to substitute.  Do your research and makes sure you know what you are getting.

The Secrets to a Happy and Lasting Marriage

On July 3^rd we will celebrate our 30^th wedding anniversary.  I can’t believe that much time has passed.  We have four beautiful children, and 4 beautiful grand children.  Many people are shocked when we tell them how long we have been married.  In celebration, I would like to share some the things we have found to constantly help us grow together.

By all rights and statistics, we should not be married.  We met, dated 4 weeks, then he asked me to marry him, and 4 weeks later we were married.  Add to that, we were married 2 weeks after I graduated from high school.  Lyndon loves to share the story when we met.  He will tell people that he knew the minute he shook my hand that I was the one.  He was 25 and had dated quite a bit before he met me, but when he met me, he knew and he didn’t waist any time. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage and like any couple, we have had our problems, but our undying love has got us through difficult times as well as the things I will share with you.  The most important thing to remember is it takes two to make a marriage and one to make a divorce.  The minute one person decides they are done; it is difficult to turn that around.  I believe the things I will share have made a difference in our marriage and have helped us to withstand the test of time.

Sense of Humor and Right to a First Negative Response

The number one thing that women say they want in a man, is a person with a sense of humor.  I believe this is essential in any relationship.  From the time we met, Lyndon was teasing me.  We laugh non-stop! One thing we learned is the right to a first negative response.  Sometimes we will say things to our spouse out of frustration or anger.  When this happens, we will ask the other, is that really what you want to say?  Inevitably, we both start laughing.  Then the response is, “no I am just upset or frustrated about ……” By doing this, it can defuse a very volatile and potentially hurtful response.    Things that might have been said that would create problems for some time down the road are avoided.  This is a very helpful tool.

Speak Up in Your First Year

If you are getting married or a newlywed, I always teach the importance of speaking up in your first year of marriage when something bothers you.  If you wait until years down the road, your spouse is very confused at why this would suddenly be a problem, when in reality it was a problem from the start.  I have seen things like this create resentment and potential problems later in the marriage.  If your new spouse is doing something that is bothering you, very lovingly let them know that this bothers you so you give them the opportunity to change it.  This makes things so much easier.

Love Languages

One of the greatest tools we’ve learned in our marriage is learning one another’s love language.  If you have a chance, make sure you read the book “The Five Love Languages.”   If you are a person where your love language is ‘physical touch’ and you are married to a person that their love language is ‘acts of service,’ you are going to see two very frustrated people. Let me explain.  If a person whose love language is ‘acts of service’ does something like washes your car, cleans something for you, etc., for a person who’s love language is ‘physical touch,’ the ‘physical touch’ person will think it is nice, but not feel loved.  In turn, if a physical touch person is affectionate, hugging, touching, etc. to a person who is ‘acts of service,’ again the person will think it is nice but will not feel loved.  The trick is communicating love in the other person’s love language.  You would be shocked at what this will do to your relationship if you start loving a person in their love language.  Many people have a primary and a secondary.  Learn those! It will make a difference.  There is a test I use so people know what one another are.  Here is a short explanation that may be useful.  (I want to thank my dear friend Lee Pope for the information on defining love languages condensed)

1) Words of Affirmation Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good complement.”  This then is the primary love language of a person who would say; “if you love me then you would tell me”.  Remember that in this love language it’s not so much what you say; it’s how you make someone else feel when you say it. Words of Affirmation need to be sincere and thoughtful.  They can come in the form of a complement for a wonderful dinner, for being a great wife or husband, or for doing so much for the children etc.  For many, affirming words from the one they love most can get them through the most difficult day.

2) Quality Time This person is someone who wants your time and your undivided attention.  Watching TV together doesn’t cut it; it’s the TV that has your attention. Quality time involves quality conversation (i.e. listening, being sympathetic, and taking the time to understand).  It involves making time for activities like lunch together, time on the phone during breaks at work, vacations and family time.  For a wife whose primary love language is ‘Quality Time’, to have a husband who consciously makes time for birthdays, dates, family picnics and especially time focused on her, will make all the difference in her life.

3) Receiving Gifts Gift giving is a fundamental expression of love that transcends all cultures.  Gifts can be purchased, found or made. They don’t even have to cost money.  For a person whose primary love language is Receiving Gifts, they are very important – gifts mean that your spouse is thinking of you and his or her gift is an expression of love. Gifts are visual symbols of love, and they are much more important to some than others.  The wedding ring is a very powerful symbol of love, and if your wife ever throws her ring at you, you can bet something is very wrong with your marriage.  Something as small as a flower picked on the way home, and given tenderly by a husband, may speak volumes of support and love to a wife who has struggled with difficult emotions all day.  The greatest of all gifts is the gift of self.  If your spouse’s primary love language is ‘Receiving Gifts,’ the gift of your physical presence at times when your spouse needs you is critical.  For example, if a husband’s primary love language were ‘Receiving Gifts,’ having his wife choose to come to an important softball game rather than go shopping with her friends would say to that man “she loves me”.

4) Acts of Service This love language means doing things you know your spouse would like you to do, not from fear or guilt but from love. For a woman, when her husband does many little things like taking out the garbage, changing a dirty diaper, doing the dishes (without being asked), keeping her car in good running order, and a thousand other little services, it means “he loves me”.  For a husband whose primary love language is ‘Acts of Service,’ when his wife takes the time to cook a delicious meal, or have the house clean when he comes home from work it says to him “she loves me”.

5) Physical Touch Holding hands, hugging, kissing, embracing, and sexual intimacy are all ways of communicating emotional love to one’s spouse. Keep in mind that within each love language are many different dialects.  A wife, for example whose primary love language is ‘Physical Touch,’ but not necessarily sexual intimacy, may cherish holding hands, sitting close together on the couch, hugs of reassurance, a soft hand on her shoulder and kisses goodbye.  If her husbands primary love language is also ‘Physical Touch’ but his dialect is sexual intimacy, then he and his wife are still are not speaking the same love language.  Her attempts to get close to him may be confusing and frustrating to him because it does not mean she wants sexual intimacy, while his attempts towards her may seem selfish to her because she sees sexual intimacy as unnecessary.  And unfortunately, they may never get past this impasse because they stubbornly stick to their respective “tunnel vision”, never realizing that there are many ways of expressing love – each with equal merits and with no two exactly alike.

What is important to understand, is that we need to learn to appreciate one another’s differences.  This does not mean that you must try and change your own love language or personality; it means you make an effort to speak your spouse’s (or your best friends).  You don’t have to give up English, because you learn to speak French. You have simply added another positive to your love language resume. If a wife’s love language is ‘Words of Affirmation,’ will only improve his relationship with her when he begins to speak affirming words to her – and this he does without giving up his primary love language.  It’s a “Win Win”.

Thanks Lee!!!

Solutions or Understanding

Nothing is more frustrating then when you are upset and someone is giving you solutions and all you want to do is vent.  When your spouse is upset, ask the question, “Do you want a solution or understanding?” This way you can give your spouse what they need.  If you are looking for a solution and getting understanding, again you will be very frustrated.  We have found this to be very useful.

Differences are Good

I can’t tell you how opposite Lyndon and I are.  We think nothing alike, but I believe this is a good thing.  It is like the yin and yang.  When brought together, they can be very powerful and strong.  We can be discussing something and because we think nothing alike, we help one another with ideas that we would have never thought of on our own.  Also, we have strengths that the other doesn’t, making our union very special.  Even though we are different in many ways, we do share the same over all belief in religion, family, raising children and life in general.  If you find that you are very different from your spouse, look at the positive side of things and the power in the relationship.

Keep Dating

Many people think the work stops when you get married. It is actually quite the opposite.  Marriage takes work, time and effort.  It is important to set time aside weekly to go out and have some one on one time.  This is ever so important when kids come along.  We taught our married kids very young that if mom and dad do not have time together, they wouldn’t be together.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money or any money at all if you don’t have it, but you do need that time.  If you can’t afford a babysitter, then find another couple that you can trade with.  You take Friday and they can have Saturday.  A great Friday night can consist of a nice dinner, bubble bath and intimacy, which bring me to my next point.  When you were dating, you always looked your best.  You took care of yourself, watched your weight and went to great effort to attract your spouse’s attention.  I can’t tell you how many people who are recently divorced that now want to lose weight, get in shape etc. It makes me wonder if they had continued this in their marriage, would they still be married?  My daughter has 2 little boys that are very busy, but when her husband comes home at night she always has makeup on and her hair done.  And guys, the baseball hat is ok once in a while, but we like your hair fixed and clean-shaven.  If you are in a place where you have lost site of this, it is never too late to start.  Work together to get in-shape and recommit to the same effort you did when you were dating.  I recently had a friend that said he wanted to get back to where he was when he married his wife. You could tell this was important to him and I know that his wife appreciates it.  I think it is very sad when I am working with someone and they say they love their spouse, but have to imagine them, as they were when they met them, in order to be intimate because their spouse has let themselves go.  There is no way they could share this because it could be devastating, especially to a woman.  So, take the time to evaluate yourself and see if you are putting the same effort into attracting your spouse as you did when you were dating.

Forget Mistakes and Do Reminisce

Humans are the only species that continue to pay for their mistake.  Why do we punish others and ourselves over and over again?  No one is perfect and we all make mistakes.  If you have worked through something, let it go!  Never bring it up again.  It only hurts your relationship, not help it.  Also, if you are struggling in your marriage, go to dinner or even the park and talk about how you met and what you did when you first started dating.  It is amazing how that will stir up the feelings you once felt and help you remember why you fell in love with one another.  One other thing that is vital to a happy and lasting marriage is when you are with friends; never say anything negative about your spouse.  I guarantee if you are with your friends and someone starts to complain about their spouse and others chime in, soon you will be too.  When you go home, you will find that you will be gruff and irritated with your spouse. It also works in the reverse. If you say wonderful things and you return home, you will find that you are loving to your spouse.  Negative speaking brings about negative actions.  Remove yourself from these kinds of setting or turn the conversation around and start saying all the things you love about your spouse.

Do What the Other Person Likes

This is foundational in order for you to grow together as the years go on.  We are seeing more and more people that are married 25-30 years getting divorced.  They grow apart over the years and have nothing in common but their kids.  One thing we decided when we got married was to do things together.  Lyndon has always loved motorcycles and when our married kids were young we spent time as a family at the sand dunes.  Lyndon always wants me with him, so I had to learn to ride extremely difficult and steep terrain that were pretty scary, so I could ride with the guys.  It was scary, but I soon learned to love it and many times I was the only woman riding with a bunch of guys.  Then, he thought it was time for me to get my motorcycle license. It was scary riding on two wheels but I have loved it.  We have ridden through the Redwoods of Northern California and down the coast. I am so glad that I did it.  I wanted to get a horse. Lyndon had only been around horses two times, both being very negative experiences, but because we made this decision to do things together, we got two.  He learned to love it and his horse. We have ridden through some of the most beautiful places in the Utah Mountains and California deserts.  He still misses the horses today.  We taught our married children the importance of this.  Our youngest daughter married a man that loves sports and she enjoys them also, not to the extent her husband does, but they go to games together. She knew nothing about wake boarding but has become an incredible boarder, all from learning how important it is to do things together.  Now, I will admit that there are some things I haven’t enjoyed and Lyndon would tell you the same.  I can’t count the many times he has come to an event to hear me speak on things he has heard a million times and to be known as “Michelle’s Husband,” is not his idea of a good time. He is always there with me and supports me and I do the same.  If your spouse asks you to do something you are not thrilled about, think back when you were dating. I guarantee you would have been there, just to be with them.  This is so important.

Don’t Set Yourself Up For Failure

We live in a time where very few people have respect for someone that is married.  It used to be if someone had a ring on their finger, they were off-limits.  It used to be that you would see aggressive men, but today, I would have to say that women are just as aggressive and in some cases more aggressive.  They don’t care that they are destroying a family. All they can think about is themselves and their selfish desires.  Because so many women are in the work force, we are seeing more and more affairs. Remember, if someone will cheat with you, they will cheat on you! I have worked on a corporate level for more than one company and I have strived hard not to set myself up for failure.  One friend of ours said he was so impressed when he first met me because within the first 10-15 minutes I was talking about my husband.  He was also with Lyndon and I on a speaking assignment and Lyndon had left for a few minutes and we had to discuss something for the upcoming meeting.  As Lyndon walked out the door, I grabbed a chair and propped the door open.  It would be inappropriate for me to be alone with a man other than my husband in any hotel room, even if we were discussing business.  Also, you should never discuss anything personal or complain about your spouse to the opposite sex.  Social networking has created emotional affairs and this is just as destructive to a marriage.  So many times this will lead you down a road you never intended on traveling.

A year ago I lost a dear friend of mine.  He and his beautiful wife were married for 26 years.  She has recently started dating. She is stunning, but said to me that there is so much to be said for being with someone you have spent years with.  She says the energy that it takes and all the games people play, is very tiring.  She would give everything she has to have her husband back.  I feel that the things I have shared with you above have helped us to understand what true and lasting love is. I feel that we are more in love now, 30 years later than when we were first married.  I married the love of my life (my Mary Poppins husband…practically perfect in every way) and find gratitude in being able to spend my life with someone that loves me just as much as I love him and whom I have ever lasting happiness with.

What you don’t know about your food could be making you fat!

Many people are not aware that 80% of weight loss is what you are putting in your mouth.  The advertisement industry has done a great job on marketing.  It makes me crazy when they will say a particular product has an ingredient in it, talks about the benefits like it is a primary ingredient, and then if you take a minute and research the ingredient, you realize there isn’t enough of it in there to get the results they are claiming.

Another thing that people don’t realize is if an ingredient is below a certain limit, it is not required to be placed on the label.  Many times, you truly don’t know what you are eating. In Paul Zane Pilzer book “The Wellness Revolution”, he talks about the reason why people sit down to a whole bag of chips or a whole box of cookies.  When you look at the ingredients on most packaged foods, it is hard to pronounce most of the ingredients.  The average person consumes 10 pounds of food additives every year.  Those of you who are looking to be ten pounds lighter might think about not eating things in a box or package.  Many of these food additives actually make you crave more food.  For example, MSG is under many different names and is an excitotoxin.  It literally excites your cells to death.  A great book is Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills by Blaylock.  This will really enlighten you on food additives.  It can make cardboard taste good. That is how scary food additives are.

When you eat a banana, you might have just one more, but rarely will you eat 5 or more.  That is because your body got the nutrients it was looking for so now you might reach for an apple.  When you eat processed or packaged foods they contain little to no nutrients.  You continue to eat, and in some cases you may even be full, but still do not feel satisfied because your body is still looking for nutrients.  I also see this in people that do not eat balanced through the day.  They eat very little for breakfast or even lunch and so when night comes, their body did not get the nutrients it was looking for so people will find that they have the munchies.  When you are a night eater you can guarantee gaining weight.

Almost everything that comes in a box or package contains corn or soy.  In the testing that I do, 60-70% of people have problems with both and the end result is weight gain.  When people eliminate this from their diet it is amazing how much weight they lose.  My rule is; if you can’t pronounce it you don’t want to eat it.  These chemicals increase your toxic load and cause your body to hang on to unwanted weight.  The more you can reduce your toxic load, the easier it is to reduce your weight.  Learn to read labels and avoid things that contain high fructose corn syrup and any corn ingredients and soy.  Both are genetically modified and create imbalances in the body.  New research shows it is causing sterility among many other problems. Jeffrey Smith, author of the bestseller “Seeds of Deception,” explains how genetically modified foods cause health problems, and their potential for creating a vast array of unforeseen and surprising illnesses.  I plan on writing later on why you need to say NO to GMO.

The more you can eat foods that are in their natural state, not only will you feel better but you will definitely notice a difference when you look in the mirror.

How to Stay Motivated so You Reach Your Goals

A young mother recently asked me on Facebook, how I stay motivated to exercise and eat well.  Well, it isn’t easy at all.  I wish I could say it was! The truth is I have days just like everyone else where I am not as motivated as I am on other days. I am fortunate to have married a man that always exercises, no matter what, with will power that if there were a way to market it, I would be a millionaire.  I have to say this does help.  If he were asking me if I wanted ice cream and other goodies, I probably wouldn’t be in the shape I am. If you are trying to eat better and exercise regularly it is a good idea to make it a family affair.

As I stated in my book “Willing to Change, Can You Beat Genetics,” people look at me and think I can eat whatever I want.  That is so far from the truth.  I grew up in a home where we had the worst eating habits and we ate huge portions of food.  I have struggled with portions for many years and if my weight starts to creep up, it usually comes back to portions.  In my travels and talking to thousands of people, there are only a few people that get to eat what they want and look great.  But, some people make it look so easy.

There are two things that will get you almost anything you want. Motivation and Determination.  These two things are extremely powerful.  When you are truly motivated and have determination, getting out of bed in the morning seems to be easier.  When you are offered a piece of cake or some other fattening food, it gives you the power to say no and passing up fries doesn’t phase you.  When you are motivated and determined, that intense workout invigorates you and you will find yourself pushing harder and harder.  The real motivation is when you look in the mirror and see the results of your hard work and good choices.  The question is, are you motivated and determined and if not; how do get motivated?

Set a goal:

Find a goal that inspires you and gives you the strength to do all of the above.  Define your WHY!!!  Why do you want to get in shape?  To be healthier, have more energy, for an event (like a reunion or vacation).  It may be as simple as attracting someone into your life. You need to be very specific in defining your WHY.

Write it down:

I literally just read this today. Statistics show that people who write down their goals have over 80% higher success rate of achieving them. Make sure they specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented and time-limited.  For example, you want to lose 15 pounds in 6 weeks and you would put how you plan to do this.  By writing things down, you put them into motion on an energetic level.  I am a firm believer in journaling. It creates accountability.  I recommend this with both your exercise and your nutrition.  That way you can go back and see what worked for you and what didn’t.

Visualization:

Makes sure you take time each morning and each night, as well as when you exercise to visualize what you want to look like.  If you have an old picture of your self that you like, you can also use that.  If not, find a picture of what you would like to look like and place it in several places, the fridge being a great place, to motivate you to stay on track.

Make a plan:

You need to plan how you are going to accomplish your goal.  If you don’t make a plan, you will plan to fail.  It is essential to find a program you can stick with.  It can be as simple as cutting portions and eliminating things [such as soda] that are contributing to your weight.  If you are ready for a more aggressive program, you might think about my Body Earned program.  You might also think of finding a good personal trainer that can help you with your workouts and push you.

Have a support system:

Make sure that you have a support system.  Share with family and friends your new goals and help them to understand how important they are to you.  When those weak moments come (and they will), have people around you that will help you remember your goals. This will help you to stay on track.  If you find that some of your friends are not so supportive, you may have to find new people to associate with that are more supportive.  Unfortunately, some friends have a problem when others loose weight. They are not very happy because it is a reminder that they are not where they need to be.  So be prepared! You may need to find a new circle of friends.

Secrets to finding real love

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.  With the kind of work that I do, I work with a lot of people with emotional issues.  Recently, I have had people coming to me asking them to coach them in their dating.  Up until this point, most of the relationships they have had haven’t gone well at all.  It seems everyone is looking for love, but most people do not understand what real love is. It’s sad to say many never experience it in their life.  My husband and I will celebrate our 30^th anniversary in a few weeks.  Even after 30 years of spending our lives together we are hopelessly in love.  I am married to an amazing man and the love of my life. Not that we haven’t had our struggles; everyone does, but I chose well when I was dating.  We have 3 happily married children, whom we’ve taught certain things about how and who to date. I would like to share that with you in hopes that if you are at the point in your life where you would like to settle down and have a family, you might find a person that you enjoy, are compatible with and are still in love years later.

Be who you are!!!!

I love the line in the movie “Fools rush in” when he says, “What is dating anyway? For the first 3 months you try to impress each other and the next you find out who they really are.” Such a true statement.  Why do we do this?  You need to always be who you are!!  This would make life so much easier for people if they would do this.  I was told of a story recently of a couple that while they were dating, the guy was everything he knew the girl wanted to get the girl.  Once married, he was who he really was, much to the unhappiness of his new wife.  She thought she was marrying this outgoing guy, only to find out he preferred to stay home and not do a whole lot.  I will be surprised if this marriage lasts.  When people are first dating, they are on their best behavior.  When our children came to us and told us that they wanted to get married, we would ask them this question.  If you took all this person’s qualities and cut them in half, would you still want to marry them?  Be who you are. If someone is trying to change you, THEY DON’T LIKE YOU!!!  Move on.  In the “Mastery of Love,” there is a chapter on trying to make a dog a cat.  The dog is always going to be a dog and a cat is always going to be a cat. We don’t expect a cat to be a dog or the other way around, and yet we do this all the time in relationships.  Be who you are and if it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be.

Wish list

I am a firm believer in making a man/woman wish list.  When our youngest daughter was in a place where she began to think about the man she wanted to marry, she made a very detailed list of the type of man she wanted to be with.  She had dated guys that made her realize what she didn’t want.  She told me she use to think that lists were dumb, but after dating enough guys that were sub-standard she realized that she needed to make the list of what she did want in a partner.  The categories she had where in this order: spiritual, personality, family qualities, looks, other qualities, and bonus.  She was very, very specific.  By doing this, energetically she put things into motion.  My daughter is very beautiful and personality wise, she is so sweet. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t just love her. She sat home many a Friday and Saturday nights because she was picky about whom she dated.  She only dated people with her same standards and that had the qualities she was looking for; it paid off because not very long after she made this list, her husband Curt showed up.  He had all but 2 of the qualities on the very long list she had.  They have been married for 4 years and you would think they are still on their honeymoon.  She says they laugh non-stop and I don’t think they have ever fought. She never dated to date.  Note; never, ever share your list with anyone!!  Wait until you are married and then share, again you don’t want some one to do what is on the list just to be with only to find they are really a different person.

Predator-Prey

One thing that I am seeing a lot of is women that are so aggressive.  I know that many believe that times have changed and that it is perfectly fine for woman to ask men out, but so many men are tired of this.  They have said men are supposed to be the predators and women are supposed to be the prey.  I am a firm believer in this.  Now, I am a strong woman, but I see the beauty in this.  Ladies, I want to let you in on a secret; MEN WANT WHAT THEY CAN’T HAVE!!!  The forbidden, the untouchable.  The women that I have coached to let the guy contact them first, be the predator, can’t believe the response they have received from men.  There is nothing wrong with putting yourself in a man’s path, but they need to ask you out and pursue you.  Which leads me to the topic of intimacy.  This is another thing I am shocked at. People share this with anyone and everyone.  I come from the generation where you wait till you get married and we raised our children to do the same.  But, not everyone has this same belief. So, my rule when working with someone is; they have to wait until the relationship becomes exclusive.  My oldest daughter has her degree in psychology and this is a statistic that she shared with me.  For every man that a woman sleeps with, it increases her chance of divorce when she does get married.  If she sleeps with 8 or more the chances of her marriage lasting is something like .001%.  Not good odds.  Intimacy for women is emotional, for most men it is physical.  That is why this statistic is so profound.  Makes you think.  When this rule is implicated, especially by women, the women come back and share with me that the men always say how much they respect the woman for that choice.  Another problem with intimacy right away is it clouds your judgment on compatibility and other issues. I had a guy say to me that he felt he had to sleep with a girl otherwise the girl would think that there was something wrong with her.  Are you kidding me?  If a woman believes this, she has little to no respect for herself and is not confident in the other qualities she possesses. Did you know that the number one quality that a man is attracted to is a confident woman? And guy’s…if a girl is jumping into bed with you in the first few dates, then she is doing that with everyone else. If the person you are dating can’t wait, then all they are interested in you for is sex.  If you are looking for a meaningful and permanent relationship, move on!!  One last thing ladies; There are women that men date and women that they marry.  The women they just want to sleep with are women they date.  When it comes time to settle down, a man wants a woman that hasn’t been with many men and is a little more conservative. Most men do not like to share and do not like their stuff out there.  They are also looking at this woman and thinking about her being the mother of his children.  They have a much different perspective when it comes to choosing the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with.  It is interesting what women think men want verses what men actually want.   One last thing on compatibility; We taught our kids that if you were intimate everyday, that would take at most 1 hour, if you can’t get along the other 23 hours, you will be miserable.  The physical is meant to be the frosting on the cake, not the foundational.

Dating and Marrying up

I have always taught that both people need to feel like they are the luckiest girls or guys to be with the person they are with.  This is dating up. If this couple decides to get married, they tend to have more successful marriages.  I remember when I first met my husband, Lyndon.  When he walked into a room, everyone noticed, both men and women. Not only was he (and still is) incredibly handsome, but very successful. I remember thinking; someone like him could never be interested in someone like me.  That is the kind of person you really want to try and date.  When you date up, there is an appreciation for this person and you are thinking about pleasing them, instead of thinking of yourself.  The true definition of love is giving.  When you first start dating someone, you want to do things for him or her.  You are excited to please them.  Unfortunately, if you are not truly in love with someone, you no longer do the things you once did for him or her when you first started dating.

You can’t change anyone!!

The only person you can change is you!!! If you think you are going to meet someone and change him or her, you are kidding yourself!  Yes, people will change for a moment, but they always go back to whom they are unless they have the desire to make that change on their own.  When dating someone, you want to choose people that make you want to be a better person.  Your goal is to always strive to be your highest and best self.  If someone is bringing out your worst qualities and you fight a lot, you probably don’t want to be with that person.  My husband recently had lunch with two friends and both complained about how horrible their wives were.  They were absolutely miserable.  The sad part is, when they were dating, it was that way.  Why you would marry someone that makes you miserable makes no sense to me.  Lyndon came home in total gratitude, recognizing how much fun we have together, that I don’t yell and scream at him or treat him poorly.  It is always important to work on your personal growth and development.  Did you know your personal income will never exceed your personal growth and development?  This is a pretty good reason to work on this.  You also have the person that is so interested in a person’s look that they can’t see their bad qualities.  They date for a while and she/he starts to see the qualities everyone has warned that person about, but doesn’t want to admit that everyone was right about this person.  Their pride keeps them from getting out so they continue to try and change them only to fail.  If this is you, cut your losses and next time focus on the inside.  Remember looks fade and it is not the basis for a lasting relationship!!!

Things to pay attention too

I am a why person. I love to try and understand why people do what they do.  I have spent time around many, many people. A couple of things that I taught my girls when they started dating is to pay attention to how a guy treats his mom, how his dad treats his mom, and that you will have one of those two relationships. I have yet to see this not the case.  If a guy is disrespectful to his mom, he will eventually treat you that way.  If the father is disrespectful, demanding, and just treats his wife bad, so may the son.  That is the example he had and so that is what he views as normal.  In our home, if anyone disrespected Lyndon or myself, they were toast.  He loves me and treats me with the utmost respect and expects everyone else to.  In turn, it is my responsibility to respect him too.  I have seen people get into it in public and that is so disrespectful to one another.  When respect goes out of the relationship, there is little left.  Respect is essential.

If you are a person that wants to have a family, pay attention to how the person you are dating is with children.  If you are a guy that would like a woman that is nurturing, this is a great way to see that particular quality.

Unfortunately, in our society, many people do not know what a healthy relationship looks like.  They get married only for it to end in divorce.  I highly recommend the book “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz.  This book will teach you so much about what love really is and what a healthy successful relationship looks like.  It will help you in your dating to attract a higher quality of people and to also be happy with yourself.  After all, if you don’t love you, how do you expect anyone else too!!  There is nothing like having a person in your life that loves you unconditionally, who is always there no matter what and in my case, always makes me laugh, even in difficult times.  I hope this information will bless those of you looking for a healthy relationship!

Are Toxins keeping you from getting lean and/or making you fat?

The average American puts over 250 toxins on their body from the time their feet hit the floor, until they walk out the door.  Those of you that have read my book know how passionate I am about toxin awareness.

1/3 of U.S. adults along with over 300 million adults globally are obese.

Do you know people who have tried every diet and still suffer from being overweight?

What may be causing people to retain and/or gain weight – even while dieting?

Why do some diets work for some and not for others?

When we are exposed to a toxin it is stored in our fat cells.  If you are wondering if you have a high toxic load, look in the mirror and if you see a lot of cellulite, you definitely do.  Cellulite is a good indication of what your toxic load is.  If you are a person that does not have cellulite, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to reduce your toxic load, it may mean that your body handles it better than others or it is in the lymph system and/or other systems.

We are exposed to 80,000 man made chemicals in our daily lives.  Our bodies are staggering under the enormous load of industrial toxin that has entered our food, water, and environment — and these toxins are also making us fat.  The average American ingests 10 pounds of synthetic food additives each year, which collect in the body’s fat cells.

Then you look at the fact that 35 states have rocket fuel contaminants in their groundwater. These particular petroleum based fuels block the absorption of iodine to the thyroid, therefore contributing to hypothyroidism.  I can’t tell you how many people that I have told to have their thyroid tested, find out they are suffering from low thyroid.  When your thyroid isn’t functioning, you have a very difficult time losing weight.

General weight gain is rising with the increase level of toxins in our environment.  The staggering load of toxins in our food, water and environment disrupt our hormone balance.  I have worked with hormones for the last 8 years and I find it scary that I have men coming to me in their 20’s and 30’s with low testosterone.

The more toxic your body becomes, the more difficulty you will have losing weight and keeping it off.  Studies have shown that toxins may paralyze parts of the brain having to do with appetite.  I have seen this first hand.  I have had so many patients that say they are not hungry and so they only eat one big meal that makes them fat. Then you have the person that will say they never feel full and they are always hungry. Our body’s natural weight control mechanisms are not functioning properly!

The currant reasons for Obesity, inactivity and overeating, alone, do not explain the current obesity epidemic.  An epidemic is something that happens fast, so this leads us to believe that it has to be environmental instead 
of genetic.

Many people do not have a clue how they are being exposed to these toxins.  Our environment is filled with chemicals. They permeate our home, our office, our food, our car, even the air we breathe and the water we drink. Toxic chemicals are also found in the products we use to care for our home and ourselves. We are exposed to hundreds—possibly thousands—more chemicals than our great grand parents were.

Currently, 100, 000 synthetic chemicals are known to exist in our environment. The endocrine system is affected by 51 of these synthetic chemicals. Some of them mimic estrogens, but many of them interfere with other parts of the system, such as the pituitary and the thyroid.  The endocrine system is an integrated system of glands located throughout the body.  When one fails the whole system goes down.

For example, the adrenal glands produce hormones that you can’t live without, including sex hormones and cortisol, which helps you respond to stress. These manmade compounds largely affect the adrenal glands, and when the adrenals fail, the thyroid soon follows. The adrenal glands are foundational and by keeping them in balance, you are more likely to have more balanced hormone levels.  In my clinical practice 75 percent of my patients who had adrenal problems had adrenal fatigue, and the other 25 percent were in failure. This is a huge problem. These victims of environment have no energy, can’t sleep at night, and feel generally unwell.  Many people don’t realize when you train hard you need adrenal support because these glands are really being taxed.  By using the proper adrenal support, you will find greater success in your training and the results will reflect that.

Throughout our lifetimes, toxins and carcinogens build up in our systems and can eventually cause the spontaneous ignition of cancerous growth cells. People are suffering from cancer at an all time high. According to the American Cancer Society, over the course of a lifetime, men now have a one in two chance of getting cancer and women a one in three chance. In 2008 alone 570,280 people are expected to die of cancer—almost 1500 people a day!  You can imagine what the numbers are today.

Here is a list based upon more than 100,000 tests, the Environmental Working Group reported the dozen fruits and vegetables that are most and least contaminated with pesticides.

This is just a sample of the list I have in my book to help you know where you could be exposing your self unknowingly to toxins.  I also list things that help you reduce your toxic load.  If you would like to read more about this you can purchase my book at

http://uniquehealthandwellness.com/books/willingtochange.htm

The Importance of Sweating

I remember a few years back going for a walk with my husband in the desert, on a day when the temperature was around 108 degrees.  My husband was pouring down sweat and I didn’t have a drop on me.   When he looked at me, my face was beet red, and when he saw I wasn’t sweating he was concerned.  And he should have been.  Sweating is important for many reasons.  One of the main reasons is to help regulate temperature and help cool us down when our bodies are hot.  There are approximately 2 million sweat glands in our body and as our body breaks down our food, as well as the many other functions that it does, our body is heating up to get things done. Believe it or not we even sweat on cold days.

The average person uses approximately 2,500 calories a day to fuel our bodies.  When this happens it creates oxidation that produces enough heat to bring 25 quarts of water to boiling.  Our bodies were meant to be at 98.6 and our bodies could in no way tolerate this kind of heat, so we are lucky to have been created with a built in cooling system.  When this happens, it slows down the calorie burning and opens blood vessels in our skin to release the heat.

Sweating is not only important for maintaining proper temperature but is also important for cleansing.  When we sweat our bodies release various toxins that hinder our bodies in many ways.   In fact, some toxins can only be eliminated from the body through the skin.

When you have a high toxic load your body will hang on to fat.  The more we reduce our toxic load the easier it is for our body to burn that unwanted fat that we have. I often will recommend people use a wet sauna to help release toxins.  There is so much new research that shows that the higher your toxic load is the more difficult that it is to release fat.  It is important to remember to make sure you are drinking ton’s of water when you do this and replace your minerals.

Now some people sweat more than others.  In my case I have a thyroid problem and that is one of the indications for me that I need to be tested to make sure my medication is high enough.  I never used deodorant up until 8 years ago when I was diagnosed with low thyroid, because I didn’t sweat much.  Once I got that balanced I began to sweat and when I find that my sweating is down, that is usually a sign I need to be tested again to make sure I am at maximum levels.  If you find that you don’t sweat, gain weight easily, are constipated, low BP and low body temp, you may want to have a full thyroid panel done to make sure you are where you are suppose to be.  They will only want to run TSH, but insist on the full!!!  Another reason some do not sweat is because of dehydration.  You need to drink half your body weight in water daily, if you train hard you need more!!

If you are a person that sweats fine, it is important to remember to make sure you are getting plenty of plant based mineral.  You may want to take a multi mineral formula, but make sure it is plant based!!!  The other kind comes from rocks and your body can’t use it!!

Grounded; The Importance Of It

I was talking to a client the other day about grounding himself.  On more than one occasion I had told him that this was an issue and he would never get where he wanted to go unless he could become more grounded.  In his mind, he thought I was telling him he had a big head and was full of himself.  Then I explained what this meant.  For this guy he had certain goals, but someone would come into his life and share an idea and it would take him off course.  He would become frustrated only to eventually return to his original course, but it wasn’t long before someone new came along and he was off on another bunny trail.  When I explained to him that when we are not grounded we are like a balloon being blown in whatever direction the wind happens to be blowing at that time.  He finally got it.  He follows my blog and asked if I could please write about it so here it is.

So how do you know when you are not grounded?

Here are some symptoms. These can include:

Difficulty finding solutions…

Feeling emotionally flighty or frazzled…

Being disorganized…

Feeling at loose ends or moody…

Loss of interest in what someone is saying…

Being overwhelmed by details…

Decreased concentration when your energy is scattered.

Feeling over worked

Unable to focus on a task or complete a task

If you find your self-thinking about things that happened last week or even last month then you are not living in the moment and may benefit from grounding.  We can become ungrounded because we are over-stimulated and our mind is scattered from multi-tasking and the general fast place of life, from your computer, TV, cell phone ect.

Being grounded has to do with our connection to the earth and to our own physical existence. When we are grounded our attention is focused on the here and now. Our minds are coordinated with our bodies. We are more balanced and don’t feel off.  If you can take the time each day, even if it is for 5 minutes and ground your self, you will find that you will be more focused and able to accomplish your goals.

Here are 2 meditations to try.  For some of you this may be a stretch, but I think you will be surprised what you find when you have finished.  If nothing else, you should find that you have slowed down and are a little more relaxed.

Here is a simple one:

In your yard, a park or forest where you have privacy, choose a tree that attracts you. It might be young and or old. Then inwardly ask it for permission to approach it. When you sense the OK, approach it.

Put your hands on the tree trunk. Begin speaking to the tree out loud, if possible, or mentally. Tell it the story about that you feel sad about, some unresolved situation. Trust yourself to do this.

Speak until your story is finished and you have no more to say. At some point or when you reach the end, just rest your forehead against the trunk. Most importantly, experiment with these instructions and see what happens.

You may feel the tree receive your story and lift your energy upward. Your mind may become still and silent. No thoughts. No sadness. You may enter meditation or deep relaxation standing with the tree.

Here is a longer one and one of my favorites.

To begin this meditation, you first need to be comfortable. Start this meditation by sitting in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the floor. Breathe very deeply. As you inhale, see yourself breathing in fresh, new, life-giving oxygen.  Take a deep breath in and release and one last one. Imagine the white light and life-force entering your body and giving you life, sustaining your life…

As you exhale, see yourself breathing out any negative or old energy or feelings. Imagine this to be black smoke leaving your nostrils.   Breathe like this for a few minutes, all the while becoming very aware of your body. Imagine each part of your body.  Notice your breath. Imagine sending your breath down through your body, down your legs, and out through your feet, like roots growing into the Earth.

Through the moist warm topsoil with the worms and other critters, down through the bones of our ancestors, down through the bedrock, through watery underground rivers and lakes, down, down, down . . . spreading out wide as they go.  Like the roots of a tree, these tendrils keep seeking down into the heart of the Earth.   Notice that they intermingle loosely with the roots of all the others in your circle.   Eventually your roots begin to feel the warmth at the heart of the Earth, the fiery core of our Mother Earth. You are grounding through your meditation deep into the Earth.

Let your roots take up residence in a wide circle, touching this heat, letting it warm them. Let the tips of your roots open, opening the channel between you and the Earth.

Now send down, with your breath, anything you want to release, to let go of, to transform. Send it down into the fiery Cauldron of the Goddess.   Ask Mother Earth if you may ground to her and use her energy to protect yourself. Remember to thank her. She will transform it for you. It’s what She does. Give it to Her, and be free.

Let the Earth energy flow in through your rootlets, effortlessly. Let it move up, up . . . up through the reaches of your root system. Moving up through the underground waters, up through the bedrock, up past the bones of our ancestors, up through the rich topsoil, and right up into the soles of your feet.  This fiery energy keeps rising. You need do nothing but stand there and open to it.

The heat relaxes and energizes as it fills the muscles. It flows down the arms into the hands and right through to the fingertips. It flows up through the neck and fills your entire head with brilliant energy.  As you’re grounding, keep your meditation breathing. Feel the energy rising.

Now you may touch the ground, and with thanks for such abundance, offer any extra energy that you don’t need, back to the Earth. You can imagine the level lowering, like a bathtub emptying, to just the degree you need.  Keep only what you need to be fully charged and energized. Release any excess that would make you jittery or manic.

When you’re ready, come back to standing.

You can also find some on youtube.

Combining for Complete Protein

I was asked to write on how to do combining to get complete proteins.  Although I prefer animal protein because it is complete, there are many people that for different reasons prefer to avoid animal protein and do combining. You are probably thinking, what determines whether something is a complete protein?  Well it has to have an ample amount of the nine essential amino acids.

If you are deficient in just one of the nine essential amino acids you may suffer from serious health implications that can result in reduction of the body’s proteins. What does this mean?  Well the body will have to go after muscle and other protein structures, catabolizing them in order to obtain the one amino acid that is needed.  Unlike fat and carbohydrates, the human body does not store excess amino acids for later use, which is why amino acids must be in our food daily.

The 9 amino acids that are considered essential that we can’t produce, that need to come from a food source are isoleucine, leucine, lysine, methionine, phenylalanine, threonine, tryptophan, and valine. Another amino acid – histidine is considered semi-essential because the body does not always require dietary sources of it.

The body makes nonessential amino acids from the essential amino acids or normal breakdown of proteins. The nonessential amino acids are arginine, alanine, asparagine, aspartic acid, cysteine, glutamine, glutamic acid, glycine, proline, serine, and tyrosine.

Leucine, isoleucine, and valine are called branched-chain amino acid (BCAAs) because human beings cannot survive unless these amino acids are present in the diet. The combination of these three amino acids makes up approximately one-third of skeletal muscle in the human body.  I am a firm believer in BCAA’s and take them daily.

Protein is essential to the body.  It is what helps cuts heal, muscle grow and make other proteins.  Many people do not get enough.  If you don’t like to eat meat, drink protein drinks or are vegan/vegetarians, then combining is a great way to accomplish this.

Here is a list, which by choosing from two columns will create a complete protein.

Sources of Complementary Proteins

What is really great is if you take anything from any of these columns; add a little animal protein and that will give you a complete protein.

*Note: I am not a big fan of soy and I like black beans the best.

If you want to see how much protein is in certain foods, check out this link.  It has a pretty good list.

http://www.indoorclimbing.com/Protein_Foods.html

Interval Training and Fat Loss

If I told you could lose more body fat by doing less would you be interested?  I have been asked many time what is the fastest way to lose fat.  There are so many studies that have been done, showing that interval training is the best way to accomplish this over any other cardio.

What is great about Interval training is it works both the aerobic and the anaerobic system. When it comes to calorie burning during exercise, research shows that short, high-intensity aerobic sessions burn more calories than longer, lower-intensity aerobic workouts.  If this is so then why not go intense the whole time instead of going really hard and then resting?  To maintain high intensity at the level needed would be very difficult and people could find themselves with injuries.  Short burst of exercise, going as hard as you can and then having a short rest has been found to be the best.

Lets look at sprinting.  When you sprint or do any intense exercise, your muscle cannot get enough oxygen at the rate need by the muscle and it is at this time that anaerobic has to kick in to assist, providing energy to the muscle.  This is that burn that you feel and is called lactic acid.  Once this intense action has finished, your body needs to repay what it has borrowed.  There is an oxygen deficit and in order for the muscles to return to normal, that deficit needs to be repaid.  This is called Oxygen debt. When you feel that lactic acid burn you know you are in oxygen debt. The more oxygen debt that we create the more we boost our metabolism.  It is that huffing and puffing, gasping for air that is paying that oxygen debt. Like any debt the more you borrow the more that needs to be paid back.  One other benefit is that the more of a deficit created, the longer you will burn calories after you have finished your workout.

The name of the game is finding something that is intense enough that you switch over to an anaerobic state.   Resistance training and sprinting are two great ways to accomplish this.  The name of the game it to create such intensity that it can’t be sustained very long, which is what creates the lactic burn.  Then you rest for a very short time and do it again. The reason for the rest is to make sure that you increase both lactic acid and oxygen debt.  That is interval training.  Again this creates a great after burn affect, that will boost your metabolism and you will continue to burn calories for a few hours after you have finished.

Another thing that is great about this kind of training is it takes less time and you don’t burn any muscle, which lowers metabolic rate.  Any one can find 20 min a day or at least 3 days a week to do this.  I think people would be thrilled with the results they would see from doing this.

I love doing this for the first 20 min of my cardio.  When you first start working out you are burning sugar then you will either burn fat or muscle.  After the first 20 min has been completed then I drop into my fat burning zone and maintain that for an additional 40 min.  I have seen great results by doing this.

Here is a website that does interval with weights. http://www.intervaltrainingworks.com

Here is 2 interval works from mensworkout.com

Interval Variation I: Standard

The following is a typical interval workout. You alternate the same period of low intensity with the same period of higher intensity.

1. 3 – 5 minutes warm up (light jog, low intensity, gradually increasing at the end of the warm up period)

2. 1 minute moderate or high intensity followed by 1-minute low intensity (repeat 6 – 8 times)

3. 3 – 5 minutes cool down (light jog, low intensity, gradually decreasing by the end of the cooldown period)

Interval Variation II: Pyramid

This pyramid structure allows you to start with short bursts of speed, and then you’ll peak at the longest surge of energy in the middle of your workout before coming back down.

1. 3 – 5 minutes warm up

2. 30 seconds high intensity, 1-minute low intensity

3. 45 seconds high intensity, 1-minute low intensity

4. 60 seconds high intensity, 1-minute low intensity

5. 90 seconds high intensity, 1-minute low intensity

6. 60 seconds high intensity, 1-minute low intensity

7. 45 seconds high intensity, 1-minute low intensity

8. 30 seconds high intensity

9. 3 – 5 minutes cool down

Interval Variation III: Sports Conditioning

Sports are unpredictable. This interval simulates some of that unpredictability by having you doing different times and different intensities. You can mix and match the orders and repetitions as much as you want. Rest longer after the periods in which you use the most energy.

1. 3 – 5 minutes warm up

2. 2 minutes moderate or high intensity followed by 2 minutes low intensity (repeat once

3. 30 seconds high intensity followed by 30 seconds low intensity (repeat four times)

4. 60-yard sprints (or 10 seconds if not running) followed by 90 seconds rest (repeat 6 – 10 times)

5. 3 – 5 minutes cool down

If you are really serious about dropping body fat, interval training is the way to go.  There are many different options when it comes to this training, find the one that works best for you.